How to reduce suffering- Show love!

by heidi_behr | Feb 13, 2015 | Following your heart, How to Feel Peace Now, Love, Relationship skills

I was so excited to read this quote from Hafiz in my Meditations from the Mat book earlier this week. Yay! A way out of suffering! Act great. Act great?  What exactly does that mean?

Well, you can look at it this way. Take a look at your thoughts.  What is bringing you the most suffering right now? Maybe it’s distress about your job, your health, your relationships, your finances? What are you thinking about that causes you upset?

It indeed may be true that things aren’t going great for you in a certain area of your life (or maybe more than one area). If you have difficulty at work, or in a relationship, you might not be sure how best to handle or change things. You might be really worried about the job, the tasks or the person you are involved with. Your health may truly be compromised. What I know is this:  If you spend time fretting about the situation, you will surely feel worse.

Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that if we are struck an arrow, we should avoid stabbing ourselves in the same place twice.  If you fret, worry, protest or get angry about the pain, you make it ten times worse.  So instead, act great. Be kind to yourself. Fear (which comes in the form of worry and distress) makes any situation worse.  If you are fretting, take a breathing break.  Taking full, slow, deep breaths will change your body’s fight or flight response and help you start to think more clearly. You have to intentionally change your thoughts to reduce your suffering.

On the topic of being loving and kind, you might know that in America, we are celebrating Valentine’s day tomorrow. I encourage you to Act Great– and show love to yourself, first, then to others. You don’t have to have a sweetheart to mark the occasion- you can Act Great and Show Love to anyone: smile at the checkout person, hold the door open for someone, buy the person behind you a cup of coffee, bring a flower to a lonely neighbor, make cookies for someone… the ideas are endless.

Here’s what I am doing to celebrate:  My husband and I are having a Family Valentine’s dinner: mom is making cheesy artichoke dip, and we are making veggie chili and cornbread. My sister-in-law is bringing cookies. It should be a fun night, and a happy way to show love to each other. I hope you find a way to celebrate love, even by being kind to yourself and making the choice to breathe slow, and intend blessings for yourself. <3 Namaste