How to Not Be So Hard on Yourself: Scientific Benefits of Self-Compassion

by heidi_behr | Jul 6, 2015 | Core beliefs, Forgiveness, How to Feel Peace Now, Self-care Practices, Self-Compassion, Tapping

Didn’t most of us hear something like this growing up? “Don’t be soft” “Crying is for sissies.” “Buck up.” “Don’t cry over spilt milk.”

There might be many more phrases in your head from your family of origin, or from teachers or coaches. Phrases that ring of self-judgment now.  And often would sound harsh if we spoke them out-loud to a dear friend. But there is scientific evidence that shows why self-compassion benefits us vs. how being hard on ourselves doesn’t help us be out best.

In this is a really lovely article, Emma Seppala, PhD,  shows why being kind to ourselves matters, even though it kind of goes against the grain for many of us to not be hard on ourselves.  So why does it matter to be self-compassionate? Why does it matter? Seppala writes:

Scientific data shows that self-criticism makes us weaker in the face of failure, more emotional, and less likely to assimilate lessons from our failures. Studies are finding that there is a far better alternative to self-criticism: self-compassion.

I often talk with my clients about how to be more self-compassionate with themselves.  I find this is more easily accomplished sometimes by using EFT /Tapping as a way to sort through the things that upset us about ourselves. When we using Tapping while verbalizing our beliefs and experiences, our body has a chance to soften (over repeated tapping rounds) and new perspectives and insights emerge that can change how we look at old experiences or even how we view ourselves.  It can feel like a miracle when this happens.

I get to witness this daily, in my work at Feelpeacenow.  I love using Tapping to help clients begin to have more self-compassion.  I see this empowering them to be healthier, happier and feel and act with more integrity in their lives.

 Starting very soon (next week!) I am teaching a new Tapping Workshop Series (4 sessions total) to show you how and why this simple technique (based on acupuncture and exposure therapy) is a very kind way to befriend yourself and make peace with the past (let alone help you sleep better, reduce anxiety, heal trauma, increase happiness & zest for living!). If you want to learn more, call me at 407-252-8035 or email me Heidi@feelpeacenow.com — I will be very happy to have you join in!

Thank you for reading this blog. I appreciate your staying tuned in! Peace be with you – Namaste!